well what a week this has been all three of my girls got the chicken pox plus my dog (whom i was going to bred from) got a nasty infection and had to have her bits removed $$$$is all i see, well as long as she is ok.
Thens there my head, oh to change my brain my thought my worries, Things have been abit rough latly what with me and my hubby having to go bankrupt due to my spending when i am on a high and my family who we dnt talk to is making it hard threating to beat up me and my husband spreading rumours and making life horrible, i grew up inelson so there are alot of bad memories and bagague that i cant seem to avoid, So we are thining of moving to blenheim which i no will be very peacful and i have my inlaws there which means support from me but my hubby has such a good job where he is and we have a nice home grrr, im sitting on the fence and i dnt no which way to fall done the cons and pro and they all seem to fall dead equall???? Then theres the medication the 1.5 citalpram is great (i think) but the eplim keeps me awake so i take qutipene and that puts me to sleep but if i take it to late i cant wake up for the kids and if i take it to early i dnt get time with the hubby and im still feeling like im on the brink of a low just sitting there plus my anxoity is also playing up, every descion i make i fell scared it was the worng one. Sometime i wish someone would make the desions for me but then again that wouldnt work cause i wouldnt be in controll..... see my head a mess a jumble dont know weatheri am left or right grrrrr frastrated got so much to say...please talk to me on here i need some to talk to to vent or just to help someone yea well im going now before i turn into a big confused knotted mess lol
Take care all
Hi Hope,
ReplyDeleteThat's a big decision you have to make - whether to move or not? Just make sure you have put everything into perspective and make sure you have thought long and hard (which it sounds like you have). Ashame about the job situation but hopefully something comes about. Regarding your meds it may take some time for them to find the right doses etc for you and it can be a balancing act especially when it involves sleeping patterns too. Keep strong, we're thinking of you and how you're keeping :) :)
Kirsten xxx
Sometimes we can agonise too hard and long over things. If the move takes you away from the things that are causing you aggro then I would think that's a good thing. Happiness is a state of mind and you can be just as miserable in a new town if you put your mind to it! ;-)
ReplyDeleteI have no idea what it is like to be bi-polar so forgive me if I appear to simplify things too much (I do know it must be very very hard for you) but I have always tried in life to make a point of attempting to have a positive thought along with every negative one - not easy in the best of circumstances I know, but give it a try just to bring a little perspective!
ReplyDeleteAs you know, I lived a good many years with a man who I believe suffers from bi-polar disorder, or something akin to it, but he will never acknowledge that he has a problem so, compared to him, you have already taken a huge step in the right direction. He always saw my advice as 'not understanding/not fighting his corner' but I know you are not making that mistake! Take whatever advice is sent your way, try it and, if it helps all well and good, if not, make a mental note and move on!!
You have a wonderful hubby and wonderful in-laws so draw strength from them and know you are very loved!! Have courage in yourself and hold your head high and remember, if someone doesn't like you, it's their problem, not yours. Don't let them bring you down!!!
xxx