first of i am new to this blog thing but i am quite excited, I am a 23yr old mother to three beautiful girls.. and at this point and time i am reasonably happy. But it hasnt been and easy road getting to where i am today, i grew up in a broken home with a father who didn't exist apart from when he felt the need to be a father for an hour every couple of years, A step father who loved to be in control and humiliate me and my brother if we were happy he was unhappy and vis versa, a mother who would fight so far then give in as to not loose her so called marriage that was at the end of the day abusive (go figure) Finally having enough i left home at 14 to face the world on my own to find out it was a big and scary place especially being so young and impressionable, I got into the wrong crowd (gangs drugs sex work stripping) to name a few things im not wanting to tell my children, but hey it happened and i have learnt to deal with the things i have done and seen ive put it down to life experience. People helped me out along the way but i wasnt thinking and i shat on them, and i was on my own again trying to be the BIG grown up but really i wasnt, I was a scared child facing demons i didnt no at the time i was facing..It took me a affair with a married man and a pregnancy for me to realized, there was more to life then what i was doing, at that point i stopped doing the things i was doing and tryed to straighten out my life. But in doing this i realized i was a depressed lost child just needing to be loved.
I then met a wonderful man who turned out to be my hubby our relationship was rocking at the start i was high or i was low erratic moods and wanting to argue all the time. is it because that all i new that was my way of communicating yep it was. plus i little thig called bi Polar but this took years and alot of highs and lows to figure this out. and we are still figuring it out i am now on medication and doing ok its early days but me and my family are doing OK.
Look forward to hearing your comment, questions or suggestion if i can help please i am here to share my thought and how i felt and delt with things. i wont have al the answers but you might be able to help me, Some things we cant face on our own we just need a friend (something i lack due to people not understanding Bi Polar.
Hope
Hi Hope, what a sad story you have. You are so lucky to have a great husband, that will stand by you, so many men run as they do not understand. Just remember friends and family that do not stick by you are ones that do not understand the illness, it is not you it is their lack of wanting to learn about it.
ReplyDeleteI do not have this illness nor could i imagine what it would be like for you and your husband to live with, I would like to ask you about what Bi Polar is i do understand what depression is as i have had that some years ago...
Look forward to your reply
Till then take care, keep smiling and be positive.
Regards Nessa XX
Thanks for you post Nessa, and to answer your question "What is Bipolar" It is classed as a mood disorder, you don't have control over your moods. You either have severe depression (lows) or extreme hyponess (highs) when your low you are generally so low you cant see light at the end of the tunnel i.e suicidal thoughts and you give up on life nothing else matters. These lows can last from couple days to couple of weeks. Then you can switch to a high which for me i talk really fast my head races i do things that are erational and kind of live in a fantasy world which can lead me to lie, basically i am like a kid on a huge sugar high bouncing around like i am on cloud nine :) oh and i spend a lot of money which is really bad as i have a family but with medication we are getting on top of things. I hope that has answered your question on what Bipolar is.
ReplyDeleteAlso i would like to say yes i do have a wonderful husband who has taken the time to learn about the condition and who has the patients to help me get through, Since having this condition i really have found out who my true friends and family are.
And i will take care and keep my chin up i am hoping this blog will help me and help others, like yourself.
Thank you
Hope
hi hope.
ReplyDeletei never really knew what bipolar was until then. i did know that you have your highs and lows but that was about it! i am so proud of what you are today.You are an amazing person you really are! i know what depression is like ,but i however would have no idea how hard it would be for you!! i know that it must be very hard for you!i would like to say i'm am here for you when you may need me ,just like you were there for me!i can also tell you are getting there because your strong will power gets you threw ,because you are such an amazing person! i am looking forward to see what other people have to help you with!
keep your chin up til then!!
kimmi xxx
Keep it up Hope. I think this is going to be a great journey. Love you lots.xx
ReplyDeleteHi Hope,
ReplyDeleteThis is a great to help you find more balance and harmony and to help enlighten those who don't understand bipolar disorder. Some people just don't understand or they're afraid due to that lack of understanding. Keep positive and strong Hope... it'll help you get through those tough times!!
Kirsten xxx
Hey Hope,
ReplyDeleteI think you doing this is a wonderful thing and hopefully will help heaps to you and to others!
I was a good friend of Hopes for a few years and was there for Hope at a time when she needed help and we worked through things ie doctors, counsellors and medication and thought she was on track she was her bubbly self again.... she had a couple of slip ups ie not taking medication, buying stuff that was silly and I tried to help more and yes things got great again. Then she lied to me about something (wont go into details) and it hurt cos I had put alot of time into helping her so much so that I neglected my own relationship and cracks started to show so I pulled away from her thinking that she wasnt helping herself so why should I help her.... oh how I was wrong...But in time (and being honest with her in a letter I wrote) I have come to understand a little more about her illness and that what she was doing was out of her control, I hope that she and I can get back the friendship we once had and that I can attempt to understand more and help her on her journey to wellbeing and living in harmony with this illness.
I do offer a wee bit of advice to people out there that know someone with this illness and are helping them through it..Look after yourself well so you can be strong for them and help when they need it.
And for people that are suffering Hold your head up high your are a wonderful person and you are worth soooo much, lean on friends and family when you need them, they are there for you.
For Hope I am sooo sorry I walked out when I did I shouldnt have that is not what friends do!! I hope you can forgive me for it, you are a wonderful mother to your girls, a loving wife to your husband, and a treasured friend to your friends and to me.
Love you heaps,
Renelle
xoxoxo